The Endless Quest for Social Validation
Working in public relations, Jennifer Morris [not her real name] says she knows she spends too much time on her phone and social media. Not only does she manage Facebook and Twitter pages at work, she is a micro-influencer on Instagram with her own personal brand.
“I try to be mindful but it’s so hard.” Morris says “With all the notifications of new content and messages, it can be difficult to resist.”
“You get sucked into the scroll and, before you know it, you can be sitting on your bed for 45 minutes doing absolutely nothing,” she says. “It’s like a drug in a sense.”
In fact, the average adult worldwide last year spent 5.9 hours a day with digital media, of which 3.3 hours were on mobile devices, according to a Kleiner Perkins Internet Trends report.
Globally, social media uses up an average of 2.3 hours per day, up from 1.5 hours five years ago, according to the Kleiner Perkins report.
For some internet users, however, social media results in much higher than average usage. Despite being conscious of news stories about social media’s negative effects, Morris says she feels the urge to grab her phone every few minutes, even when she is supposed to be busy at work.
Some of the inventors of social media platforms have spoken about their addictive nature. As Sean Parker, the founding president of Facebook, described it last year: “It’s a social-validation feedback loop . . . you’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology.”
Even knowing this, when Morris opens up the settings on her iPhone to actually see how much time she is spending on it, she is shocked.
“No, no, no, no! That’s not happening,” she says. “The weekly total — that’s crazy — the weekly total is 32 hours and 26 minutes and counting . . . How is that? . . . That’s totally absurd.”
At work, Morris also says she has found herself in trouble once in a meeting.
“That was a wake-up call for me,” she says. “I like to dedicate my attention to whomever is speaking, but then here I am on a phone in a meeting and I can’t even tell you how long I was on my phone for because I was completely distracted.
“I do think social media at work is fine when you need a break,” she adds.
“The problem lies in that addiction: we have trouble limiting that time.”
Vocabulary
public relations – the business of creating a good public image for a person or company, “She got a job in public relations to help the tech company look better in the news.”
micro-influencer – a social media user who has a relatively small but very loyal number of followers, “The makeup brand paid the micro-influencer to review their new lipstick.”
mindful – being aware of what you are doing, thinking, or feeling in the present moment, “You should be mindful of how much money you spend each week.”
notifications – automatically sent messages or sounds that let you know about new activity on an app, “I turn off my phone notifications at night so I can sleep.”
resist – to stop yourself from doing something that you want to do, “It was hard to resist eating the chocolate cake.”
sucked into – becoming completely trapped or involved in a situation without meaning to be, “I went online to check the weather but got sucked into watching funny cat videos.”
in a sense – in a way, or from a certain point of view, “Learning a language online is, in a sense, like playing a video game.”
conscious of – being aware or noticing that something exists or is happening, “He was conscious of the loud noise outside, so he closed the window.”
urge – a strong, sudden wish or desire to do something, “As soon as I smelled the fresh cookies, I felt a strong urge to eat one.”
founding president – the very first person to lead a new company or group when it started, “The founding president of the club welcomed all the new members.”
social-validation feedback loop – a process where people keep doing something because they get constant praise or attention from others, “Getting ‘likes’ on photos creates a social-validation feedback loop that makes people post more.”
exploiting – using a weakness or a situation in an unfair way to get an advantage for yourself, “The greedy boss was exploiting his workers by making them work long hours for low pay.”
vulnerability – a weakness that makes it easy for someone or something to be hurt or tricked, “Leaving your front door unlocked is a major safety vulnerability.”
and counting – an expression used to show that a number or total is still going up, “The movie star already has five million followers and counting.”
absurd – completely stupid, ridiculous, or unreasonable, “It is absurd to wear a heavy winter coat to the beach in the hot summer.”
wake-up call – a shocking event that makes you realize you need to change your behavior or fix a problem, “Failing his first math test was a big wake-up call for him to start studying harder.”
dedicate my attention to – to give all of your focus and time to one specific person or thing, “I need to dedicate my attention to finishing this project before tomorrow.”
distracted – not able to focus or pay attention because you are thinking about something else, “He was so distracted by his phone that he missed his bus stop.”
lies in – exists in or is found in a specific place or reason, “The secret to making good bread lies in using the right amount of yeast.”