How Emojis Can Save Your Relationship
They have become ubiquitous on computers and smartphones. From the bog standard smiley face to halos, aeroplanes and deep-fried prawns, emojis are now used by an estimated 90 percent of the world’s internet users – 3.2 billion people.
But one of Britain’s leading experts in language and communication has said the colourful glyphs do far more than just brighten up our text messages to friends and family. In his book, Prof Vyvyan Evans, says they actually help men and women get on better with each other, because the images clarify a message’s meaning.
“Men frequently take a statement by their significant other at face value when, in fact, there is an underlying meaning,” he said. “For example, when a guy says to a woman, ‘I’m going out with my mates,’ and the woman replies, ‘Fine, do whatever you want,’ she is actually testing his judgement. She is saying, ‘You should know me well enough by now to know that I will not be fine with that.’
“Understanding that communicative intention is key to a harmonious relationship.”
And, Prof Evans argues, men are more likely to understand that communicative intention if it is conveyed in writing along with an emoji.
“If a woman sends the message ‘Fine, do whatever you want’ on a smartphone and adds the ‘angry face’ or ‘disappointed face’ emoji, it gives the recipient a non-verbal cue, a metacomment, showing him how to interpret the words.
“A guy can’t miss it and there is very little room for misunderstanding.” He can then adapt his behaviour accordingly.
Another common “miscommunication”, Prof Evans said, stems from people’s tendency to answer ‘Nothing’ when asked by their partner if anything is wrong. Quite often men or women take this answer at face value, when, in fact, the respondent means the exact opposite. Again, in the digital realm, a sender can make their true intentions clear by appending an emoji, such as the ‘unamused face’ or ‘frowning face’.
In fact, Prof Evans goes as far as to say emojis are almost essential in digital communication.
“We are now in the world’s Third Industrial Revolution,” he said. “As online communication takes over from aspects of face-to-face interaction, we need to use emojis to better express ourselves, to help people relate to us and to successfully convey our personality.
“People who don’t use emojis are challenged in a digital context in the same way that you would be if you were unable to change the tone of your voice. If you don’t use them it might be because you don’t realise how much your messages are being misunderstood.”
Vocabulary:
ubiquitous – seen or found everywhere, “Smartphones have become ubiquitous in modern life.”
bog standard – completely ordinary or basic, with no special or fancy features, “Instead of a fancy computer, he bought a bog standard laptop for school.”
glyphs – pictures, symbols, or characters used as a form of writing or communication, “Ancient Egyptians used stone glyphs to record their history.”
get on better – (phrasal verb) to have a friendlier, smoother, or more peaceful relationship with someone, “After talking about their problems, the two roommates started to get on better.”
clarify – to make something clear, plain, or easier to understand, “Could you please clarify your answer? I don’t quite understand.”
significant other – a person’s husband, wife, or long-term romantic partner, “He invited his significant other to the company holiday dinner.”
at face value – (idiom) accepting something exactly as it looks or sounds on the surface, without looking for a hidden meaning, “You shouldn’t just take his promises at face value; check the facts first.”
underlying – real but hidden; a meaning or cause that is not easily seen on the surface, “Stress was the underlying cause of his constant headaches.”
communicative intention – what a person genuinely wants to mean, express, or achieve when they talk or write, “It is important to understand a speaker’s communicative intention, not just their literal words.”
harmonious – friendly, peaceful, pleasant, and without any arguments or disagreement, “The team worked together in a very harmonious way to finish the project.”
conveyed – expressed, delivered, or passed on a message, thought, or feeling to someone else, “Her sad eyes conveyed how much she missed her family.”
recipient – the specific person who receives something, like a letter, gift, or text message, “Please write the name of the recipient clearly on the envelope.”
non-verbal cue – a sign, message, or signal given through body language, facial expressions, or pictures instead of spoken words, “A simple nod of the head is a non-verbal cue that means you agree.”
metacomment – a comment, note, or signal that explains or gives extra information about another statement, “Adding ‘just kidding’ after a sarcastic joke is a metacomment so people don’t get angry.”
interpret – to decide on, explain, or understand the meaning of something, “It can be difficult to interpret old poems because they have many meanings.”
accordingly – in a way that is suitable, proper, or expected for the specific situation, “The weather forecast said it would rain, so she dressed accordingly by wearing a raincoat.”
stems from – (phrasal verb) comes from, originates from, or is caused directly by something, “Her deep fear of dogs stems from a childhood accident.”
tendency – a habit of acting, moving, or thinking in a certain way; a likelihood, “He has a tendency to arrive late whenever it rains outside.”
respondent – a person who answers a question, survey, text, or interview, “Each respondent in the market survey received a free gift card.”
digital realm – the space or world of computers, the internet, online networks, and electronic technology, “Making new friends in the digital realm has become very common nowadays.”
appending – adding, attaching, or joining something to the end of a document, post, or message, “She finished the email by appending a polite thank-you note.”
essential – absolutely necessary, crucial, or extremely important for success, “Water and sunlight are essential for all living plants to survive.”
aspects – specific parts, features, or distinct sides of a larger situation, plan, or idea, “We need to consider all aspects of the plan before we make a choice.”
interaction – communication, direct contact, or involvement between people or things, “Playing team sports allows children to get plenty of positive social interaction.”
relate to – (phrasal verb) to understand, feel sympathy for, or connect well with another person’s feelings or situation, “It is easy to relate to the main character in this movie because she feels very human.”