Parenting approaches
“Gentle parenting” is a craze currently sweeping the US and the UK. The term is a loose, catch-all description of a style that rejects authoritarian models and the notion we should shape our children’s behaviour via a carrot-and-stick approach. Instead, the new thinking goes, we should consider their emotional needs.
Shouting at them is out (fair enough). There is no more time out and no sticker charts. In their place, there is patience and empathy. Even if it’s 8.45am and your children are putting on their shoes intolerably slowly before school, when you’re about to miss your train to work.
Popular advocates of this approach include Dr Becky Kennedy, a New York-based clinical psychologist and mother of three. She has 1.3 million followers on Instagram, where she posts upbeat videos, with titles like “Don’t force your child to apologise“.
But not everyone is enamoured of the gentler approach. “I don’t think it helps a child not to set rules and give rewards,” says clinical psychologist Linda Blair. “Children need to know when they’ve done well.”
She has no problem with parents paying a reluctant child to do homework, either: “We work for rewards, why not them?”
Vocabulary:
gentle parenting – a parenting style that focuses on empathy, respect, and understanding a child’s feelings rather than using punishment or rewards, “Gentle parenting encourages parents to stay calm even when their toddler is having a tantrum.”
craze – an enthusiasm for a particular activity or object that typically appears suddenly and achieves widespread but short-lived popularity, “The new fitness craze has everyone in the office drinking green smoothies every morning.”
sweeping – spreading quickly and affecting many people or a wide area, “A wave of reform is sweeping through the company, changing how every department operates.”
loose – not strictly defined or organized; approximate, “The coach gave a loose description of the play, allowing the players to improvise if needed.”
catch-all – a term or category that includes a wide variety of different things, “The word ‘wellness’ has become a catch-all for everything from vitamins to yoga retreats.”
rejects – to dismiss as inadequate, inappropriate, or not to one’s taste, “The modern artist rejects traditional techniques in favor of more abstract methods.”
authoritarian models – systems or styles characterized by strict obedience to authority rather than personal freedom, “Growing up under authoritarian models left him feeling unable to make his own decisions as an adult.”
notion – a conception of or belief about something, “I had a vague notion that the trip would be expensive, but I didn’t realize quite how much.”
carrot-and-stick approach – a system of motivation that offers both rewards (the carrot) and punishments (the stick), “The manager used a carrot-and-stick approach by offering bonuses for high sales and warnings for missed deadlines.”
new thinking – a fresh or modern way of looking at a problem or situation, “The new thinking in urban planning prioritizes pedestrians and cyclists over cars.”
out – no longer fashionable, acceptable, or permitted, “Using plastic straws is definitely out at most eco-friendly cafes these days.”
time out – a disciplinary technique where a child is sent to sit quietly alone for a short period after misbehaving, “The father used a five-minute time out to help his son calm down after he hit his brother.”
sticker charts – a visual tool used to reward good behavior by letting a child place a sticker on a board for every task completed, “The teacher used sticker charts to encourage the students to hand in their homework on time.”
intolerably – in a way that is too cruel, strong, or unpleasant to be dealt with, “The heat in the unventilated room was intolerably high during the summer afternoon.”
advocates – people who publicly support or recommend a particular cause or policy, “Health advocates are pushing for more sugar-free options in school vending machines.”
clinical psychologist – a mental health professional with highly specialized training in diagnosing and treating mental, emotional, and behavioral disorders, “The clinical psychologist helped the family navigate the stress of a cross-country move.”
upbeat – cheerful and optimistic, “She gave an upbeat presentation about the company’s future despite the recent dip in profits.”
apologise – to express regret for something one has done wrong, “He had to apologise for being late to the wedding ceremony.”
enamoured of – to be filled with a feeling of love or admiration for something, “I was never quite enamoured of the idea of living in a big, noisy city.”
set rules – to establish specific guidelines or instructions that people must follow, “It is important to set rules for screen time before the children get their first tablets.”
reluctant – feeling or showing hesitation or unwillingness to do something, “The reluctant witness finally agreed to speak to the police after several hours.”